So to honor Valentine’s Day, I decided why not watch a Nicholas Sparks movie?
My literal face when talking about either…
As you can see, I chose Safe Haven. So I’m going to play a game. Based on the summary and the cover and the previews, I’m going to predict the entire movie. I watched this preview and read the following summary on IMBD:
“A young woman with a mysterious past lands in Southport, North Carolina where her bond with a widower forces her to confront the dark secret that haunts her.”
Safe Haven (2013)
My predictions: The scene will start with a voice over, a dramatic driving scene or someone looking wistfully out at some nice scenery (or any combination of these) I’m leaning towards a driving scene possibly in the dark near a body of water. Hm…They’ll meet, bond and fall in love extremely fast (despite her clearly not wanting to), maybe have a deep confession scene, and her secret will be revealed. She probably killed his wife in a hit-and-run. I’m totally just guessing. Or maybe she has an abusive ex. Idk but regardless, there will be a really dramatic fight when the truth is found out where the characters kind of just talk around each other with a lot of dramatic one-liners as though they are trying to win an award for “the most gut-wrenching, sigh-inducing over the top speech.” Then she’ll leave town or prepare to leave town but the widower will decide that even though he’s mad, she was his metaphorical sunshine on a marathon of cloudy days and he can no longer live without her. I’m not sure where the fire comes into play. It could be totally innocent as a result of the two children he has or maybe abusive ex? But everything will work out. Then, if it was a voice over that started the film, the camera will pan out or change scene and one will be talking to their descendants (the other of course will be dead.) Of course…this isn’t the classic young love tale so maybe it will just be their silhouettes on a porch swing or the beach. Ooh! A porch swing ON the beach. With doves. Then the credits will roll to a really sad song that is surprisingly REALLY good (the bad movies always have the best soundtracks. TWILIGHT ANYONE!?) Also, cancer will be included somewhere in this film.
Now, if I lose this game, I’m really winning because that means that for once, Nicholas Sparks didn’t follow his usual unrealistic take on love for this book/movie.
Don’t get me wrong, I love unrealistic films. Romantic Comedies are some of my favorite. But the thing about romcoms is that they don’t try to be something they’re not. They’re formulaic; they’re quick, they’re fun, they may have a moment of angst, and then it’s happily ever after with a last little snippet of funny cuteness tying it together with a bow.
Nicholas Sparks is predictable without meaning to be and I just can’t take the sap romance seriously. And as much as I guiltily enjoy The Notebook (minus the old ppl scenes) I could’ve done without memorizing:
“So it’s not going to be easy; it’s going to be really hard and we’re going to have to work at this everyday but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you. Forever. You and me. Everyday. Will you do something for me? Hm? Just picture your life for me. 20 years from now, 30 years from now. What’s it look like?”
Now I’m sure a few words are off but I basically have that entire scene committed to memory. And it’s not like this was BY CHOICE! Oh no, this is as a result of my friends repeating the lines and discussing this movie like it was the air that they breathed!! FOR MULTIPLE YEARS!! I swear, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the The Notebook was still being talked about to my great grandchildren.
AFTER THE FILM…
So as far as Nicholas Sparks goes…it has nothing on The Notebook whose actors I think really make it watchable and whose story was a lot more entertaining if nothing else. It doesn’t even really compare to The Last Song or Walk to Remember who, for all their insufferable mushy gushiness, still had consistency with regard to plot and interest. In Safe Haven, the characters don’t keep you interested because they lack depth and the film actually does get very entertaining/interesting but it happens way too late; it’s 115 minutes long and doesn’t get interesting until the last 40 minutes. It does, however, have a twist that wasn’t completely obvious so there’s that and I did think the ending was a nice touch (with regard to surprises, not quality).
I’d give this film a 2/5…the climax was pretty good but the beginning was so dreadfully slow and there was still so much cliché dialogue. AND the ending song wasn’t amazing which was what I was counting on. So overall, this film disappoints. I wouldn’t recommend seeing it, even to my above mentioned sappy friends.
To see spoilers, my live responses, and which predictions came true for Safe Haven watch out for the next post.
Rated E... 